| OUR TEACHERS |
| WEEKLY SCHEDULE & SERVICES |
| CONTACT / DIRECTIONS |
Difficult People as Bodhisattvas
Once a week we make the following vow at the temple: "Thus by the virtue collected through all that I have done may the pain of every living creature be completely cleared away." For a whole year my mind added, "except Jodie Watson".
Jody Watson is nasty. She's the kind of nasty person who turns away from you when you say good morning in your most cheerful Buddha voice. She literally moves her chair away from you. And if you need to ask her to do something, her way of acknowledging you is to keep doing what she is doing and say, with deep exasperation in her voice, "What do you want?!"
When I asked my own teacher how to deal with her he said, "Oh she is your good friend."
What?!!!!
It took awhile but I eventually saw the wisdom of his reaction. Every difficult person we encounter offers an opportunity to see ourselves. And Jody's behavior, which never wavered, was a perfect mirror for me. I could tell exactly how strong my spiritual practice was within seconds of saying good morning to her. On days where I sort of got a kick out of her grouchiness, my spiritual practice was strong. I had taken time to meditate and do prostrations and chant for a little while. When my reaction to her was irritation it reflected more casual practice. Maybe a ten minute sitting and then on to McDonalds. On the days when my reaction was righteous anger I noticed that I had rushed through the early morning, failing to do any practice at all.
As soon as I started seeing the pattern of my behavior I began to use Jodie's behavior as a sort of spiritual thermometer. Eventually I looked forward to seeing her because I would get an immediate read on how I was doing.
There was more good news.
I started to notice things about her that I had literally never seen before. That she had gained more than twenty pounds in a year. Her cough and her wrist braces. The phone calls from her mother about a sister with Alzheimers. Enough to make even Pollyanna the Grinch who stole Christmas.
Compassion for her grew. And grew. On a whim I brought her some information about Alzheimers. Shared my bagels from Zingermans. Even asked her for advice about dating younger men. "As long as he's over 21 the law's on your side, honey." When she quit her job, I cried.
I still miss her.
Thank Buddha for difficult people, for those people who can bring us to our emotional knees. They are the bodhisattvas you and I need. As long as we are surrounded by people who insist on being peaceful and wise all the time we'll never know what spiritual work is left to be done. Give me someone cutting me off on a highway any day.
