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We all want to dwell in the dharma, in the land of calm. We especially want to dwell in the dharma going into a holiday season which will demand our attention, our energy, our money and our cooking skills. What to do? Let's take refuge in someone we can trust, someone who has been through at least a thousand holiday seasons and survived them all with grace. What does he have to tell us that might help? One character who fits the bill of holiday survivor extraordinaire comes straight out of The Flower Ornament Sutra: the enlightening being, Forest of Virtues. According to the sutra, Forest is filled with all sorts of knowledge useful to searchers for calm. A small sample includes: unobstructed knowledge; unattached knowledge; uninterrupted knowledge; teacherless knowledge; knowledge without folly; unvarying knowledge; unerring knowledge; immeasurable knowledge; invincible knowledge; unflagging knowledge; and knowledge that cannot be taken away. Plenty to get us through the holidays.
When Flower Ornament Sutra friends ask Forest what it takes to dwell in dharma, no matter what is going on in their lives, he answers that they can depend on ten practices: giving joy; self-control; nonopposition; cultivating energy; nonconfusion; good manifestation; nonattachment; practicing that which is difficult to attain (because it is there); good teachings; and practicing truth.
1. Giving joy
This practice is about generosity without strings. We know when we give with strings and when we don't. Forest calls sans string generosity magnanimous giving, or giving without regret. We have lots of examples at Still Point. Every week I see Koho giving someone something. I wonder if he still owns anything. Or there is my friend Mary who has lost almost everything but her breathing to als --- for my birthday she came up with four (four!) books about wedding protocol for me because she knows that weddings are my favorite thing in the whole world. Now I should be able to crash just about any kind of wedding without getting caught. I have no idea how she pulled it off, but pull it off she did, making me laugh so hard that my stomach is still sore a week later.
2. Beneficial practice of self control
It is deeply comforting to be around someone who has self control, particularly in situations where we aren't sure of our own. The one who doesn't need to drink, who says no to drugs, who shrugs off a potential affair with an "I'm complimented but I just couldn't do that to my partner." Sunryu Suzuki was a wonderful, handsome, Japanese teacher who was a member of the first generation of Asian teachers to take on significant numbers of western students. For Suzuki it was in San Francisco, during the height of free love. Urban myth has it that plenty of his students had crushes on him. Some were pretty aggressive, hiding in his bed at night, waiting for him to find them. He kindly refused all opportunities. In one interview, when a beloved student told him that she didn't know if she had the willpower to stay clear of sexual relations with him, he told her not to worry that he had enough willpower for both of them.
3. The practice of nonopposition
Way back when I was in management consulting I was sent to a class at Harvard on negotiation. I think the title was "Getting to Yes". I expected the trainers to teach us to always sit on the side of the table with the person we were negotiating with as a demonstration of nonopposition. What I didn't expect was to learn that it didn't make sense to even start negotiating anything until I had proven to my "opponent" that I had heard exactly what she/he had been saying during our initial interactions. Hard work. The biggest surprise was that it was such hard work that by the time I got a positive head nod from my opponent that I really had heard what was being said, we were both more interested in finding a win-win because I not only understood the person's point of view, I understood how he/she got there. And vice versa. As a result we ended up sharing the task of finding a shared solution to whatever was splitting us apart…..one we could both live with. We were a team. And, so you know, there was always a solution. Even we were both representing different parts of Ireland.
4. Cultivating energy
Forest lists the kinds of energy he means in the sutra. The list is long and includes great energy, excellent energy, outstanding energy, exalted energy and comprehensive energy among others. He teaches that when we are filled with these sorts of energy we become naturally free from greed, hatred, delusion, pride and conceit. Watching one of the abbey residents, Jake, train for the Detroit marathon last month, I remembered how true that was for me back in my running/skiing days. As just one example, cross country skiing in a Vasa race when I didn't know how to ski took up so much energy that World War III could have been taking place right next to me and I wouldn't have noticed. All there was was my effort, my energy, and my increasingly ragged breath. And at the end of the race, where I came in dead last but still got a trophy half as tall as I was, my only feelings were relief and a sense of generalized good will. I get the same feeling these days in retreats when we do manual work in the afternoons. Lots of energy expended equals lots of good will created. And a diffused happiness.
5. Nonconfusion
In The Flower Ornament Sutra, nonconfusion means perfect right mindfulness, free from distraction. At Still Point this is Chaking painting a wall. Or anyone determined to paint a perfect straight line across the length of a sheet of paper without the help of a ruler. When I was on pilgrimage in Korea I had the pleasure of meeting a Zen master who was the spitting image of Charlie Brown in oversized glasses. Iltal Sunim had lots of advice about being a student of the dharma but the main thing I remember him saying was that mindfulness matters the most. Stay in the moment. Pay attention to what matters. Ignore everything else. That's it. Maybe he said more but that is all the translator told me.
6. Good manifestation
This is about living so gently on the earth that when we die, we've left no trace. I used to think that was impossible. Then I stayed with Iltal for a couple of days. Here's is the description of his monastery straight out of First You Shave Your Head:
"I was so caught up in trying to do the correct thing that I was barely aware of the climb to the little hermitage called, "Learning to be Content" at the top of the mountain. All I know is that by the time we got there it felt as though we had climbed to the top of the world. The rocks surrounding us went straight up like gothic cathedral walls. Beyond the trees were a series of mountains marching off into the distance that looked like small caps of pale gray whipped cream.
The temple itself was literally built into a small cliff on the top of a peak, with stone paths leading everywhere and not an inch of space wasted……..following morning practice I wondered what might possibly be available for breakfast. We were so high up and we hadn't passed a single garden on our climb. I hadn't seen any road for cars. I figured there would be rice. there was. When we entered the kitchen, ducking to get through the doorway, huge bowls of it were waiting for us, Beside them was a smorgasbord of what looked like tree leaves, twigs and weeds. The tree leaves (a mountain version of pita bread) were used for wrapping small balls of rice and bean paste. We were told the weeds were herbs to build our immune systems. All of the greens had been gathered from the side of the mountain. Combined with some spices it was a delicious and surprisingly filling meal." This is what the earth needs from us…..more twig eating!
7. Nonattachment
It is so hard to live our lives fully without attachment, given our innate velcro genes. I need a model to see what Forest is trying to say. Happily I have one. Her name is Thanisanti and she is a Therivadan nun who travels the world depending completely on the kindness of strangers for her survival. Last year we were driving in a car together and I asked her if everywhere is her home. Yes. And everyone her family? Yes. And all people are holy? We agreed on that one too. This sense of being at home anywhere, with anyone filling in the role of family can be deeply comforting when we find ourselves at an almost stranger's house for Thanksgiving dinner or a holiday weekend. Watching for the goodness in people makes it easier to spot, and relaxing anywhere makes it easier to be kind and helpful.
8. That which is difficult to attain
Here, Forest introduces the vow to never give up. I think I realized about a year ago that my spiritual practice is finally so imbedded in my bones that wherever I land post Still Point, it will be there as a refuge. This is not always a good thing….it means I've lost the possibility of one night stands, Tequila, casinos and books by Anais Nin. Happily, thanks to eighteen years of sitting, these don't feel like great losses. I may even give up sugar at the rate I'm going.
9. Good teachings
There is always something we can do to be helpful in a situation. If we pay attention carefully (see #5) what that something is will be day-glo clear. Maybe it is taking a baby to hold from an exhausted parent. Maybe it is washing piles of dishes or talking to the uncle who nobody can stand because he can't sit still without a Cuban cigar in his mouth. Maybe we can simply listen to people talk about their worries. Watching for that right action is fun, like a three dimensional computer game. Even small gestures can improve the overall energy of a room.
10. Practice of Truth
No more fibs. Silence is better. Only authentic conversations. The first few are tough but, I'm told, practice makes perfect. Plus if Forest didn't know what he was talking about he'd never make the Flower Ornament sutra bodhisattva cut. Ever. And the rewards for all this practice alone? Here is Forest: "Once enlightening beings dwell in this practice of truth, any beings who associate with them are caused to open up to understanding, be full of joy and completely pure." Ok, then, let's dive in while there are still fifty shopping days left.
